Self-Critique versus Blaming
others!

A good friend asked:
1: How can we avoid self blame, when things are not right?
2: How can we get rid of the feeling of spiritual inadequacy?
Answer 1:
Blaming (whether of
oneself,
or others) contains a stint of hate/aversion,
that makes blaming quite
unsuitable as a vehicle for reconstructive purposes...
Critique/good advice (whether of one-self, or others) should
better be based
on these 5 principles given by the blessed Buddha:
[1] "Do I think/speak at the right time, or not?
[2] "Do I think/speak of actual facts, or not?
[3] "Do I think/speak gently or harshly?
[4] "Do I think/speak long-term advantageous thoughts/words or
not?
[5] "Do I think/speak with a kind heart, or
internally/externally malicious?
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/ptf/dhamma/sacca/sacca4/samma-vaca/index.html#admonish

Answer 2: “Spiritual inadequacy” can be
utilized in 2
widely different ways:
A:
Skillfully:
To urge one to enhance or stabilize the effort
by inducing a sense
of urgency!
B: Un-skillfully:
By straining mind by self-blaming and self-hating disabling all
good efforts...
Whenever state B is recognized,
then redirect mind to state A. This can indeed
elevate the mind by adding
purposefulness!
to
even a 'bad', unwanted, wrong,
and displeasing state by inducing a sense of –meaning-
even with the absurd!
Like: “Ahh what an excellent training ground and thus
opportunity for progress
is not this frustrating event!” Or:
“OK fine, but there is definitely room for improvement here...”
;-)

However:
The utility and efficacy of self-critique depends on the
individual:
1: The mostly greedy, lusty and desirous
one, will tend towards complacency.
2: The mostly angry,
and irritated one,
will tend towards denial, or self-hatred.
3: The mostly confused
and uncertain,
will tend towards neglect, or hesitation.
Unfortunately: In either of these 3 cases, the final result is
the very same:
The mental defilements are left
unabated
in dominating the mind, whether it
is due to carelessness (1), opposition (2), or disregard
and vacillation (3).
Why so? The problem (inner and mental) is not
SEEN as it
really IS, to the
degree
it actually is present
in mind, thought, speech and behaviour, due to grossly
lapsing
or completely absent (self) Awareness
(sati)...
Lapsing
Awareness are periods of:
Mind seeing mind for split-seconds, or a few seconds at most...
interrupted by:
Mind looking elsewhere
for pleasure for
minutes/hours/days/months/years/lives...
As Ven.
Luang Pu Atulo aptly noted:
The Mind sent
Outside is the Cause of
Suffering.
The Effect of the Mind sent Outside is
Suffering.
The Mind seeing the Mind is the Path: The Noble Way!
The Effect of Mind seeing
Mind, is
the End of Suffering.
https://What-Buddha-Said.net/drops/solid_siam.htm

On
Establishing Awareness
(Satipatthāna)
on the 4 frames of reference:
Awareness (Sati):
What is Right Awareness?,
Four_Foundations_of_Awareness,
Awareness_Sati,
Causes of Sati,
Sati Studies,
Sati_in_Solitude,
Noble_Awareness,
Awareness_Analysis,
Clear Comprehension,
Feeding_Awareness,
One_and_only_Way,
Accumulation_of_Advantage,
4 Foundations of Awareness,
Sati_a_la_Anuruddha,
Accumulating_Advantage,
Mindfulness,
Careful_and_Rational_Attention,
Enlightened_and_Awakening,
Causes_of_Emergence,
First_Disillusion_then_Delight,
Clear_and_Aware_Comprehension,
Crucial_Foundation,
Desireless_is_Deathless,
Determining_Duration,
Final_Knowledge,
Sati_Summary,
Right_On,
Straight_View,
Sharing_Supreme,
Evading_the_Present,
The_Awareness_Ability,
The_Four_Postures,
Phenomena_is_Mental_States,
1_Producing_4,
Mighty_Magic_Majesty,
Sati_Acute,
Seeing_the_Possible,
Clever_Presence,
Thousand_Aeons,
Winning_Awareness,
Aware_and_Composed,
Aware_and_Settled